Soothing a Crying Newborn — Colic and Comfort ｜ Julia's Kitchen

Nothing tests a tired new parent like a baby who will not stop crying. It can feel like a problem you’re failing to solve — but crying is simply how newborns communicate, and learning to read and soothe it is something you grow into together. As a postpartum doula, much of my work is reassuring exhausted parents that they’re doing better than they think, and handing them a calm toolkit. Here it is.

This is general guidance; trust your instincts and check with your provider about your baby. For the wider first-weeks picture, see the newborn basics guide.

Work through the basics first

When the crying starts, run a quick mental checklist:

Hungry? Offer a feed (watch for early cues, not just crying).
Wet or dirty nappy?
Too hot or cold? Aim for comfortable, not bundled (see safe sleep on overheating).
Needs to burp?
Wants to be held? Often that’s the whole answer.

Half the time, one of these is it. The rest of the time, you move to comfort.

Comforts that echo the womb

Newborns are soothed by sensations that recall the womb. Mix and match:

Gentle holding and skin-to-skin — your warmth, heartbeat and smell are powerful.
Soft swaying or rocking, slow and rhythmic.
Quiet shushing or white noise — a steady “shhh,” a fan, a white-noise app.
A calm, dim room — less stimulation, especially in the evening.
A soother, if feeding is well established and your provider agrees.

Every baby is different, so it’s completely normal to try a few things before one works. Some evening fussiness is also just normal in the early weeks.

What is colic?

If your baby has long bouts of intense crying despite being healthy and well-fed — often in the late afternoon or evening — it may be colic. It typically starts around two to three weeks and eases by about three to four months. It is exhausting, but it is not harmful, and it is not your fault. There’s no single cure, but soothing techniques, calm routines and support help you both ride it out. The Canadian Paediatric Society has reassuring guidance on colic and crying.

When crying signals something more

Most crying is normal, but seek care if it comes with:

A fever, poor feeding, or vomiting
Unusual sleepiness, floppiness, or difficulty breathing
A cry that sounds unusually high-pitched or weak
A sudden change in pattern, or crying that simply feels different and inconsolable
Or your baby just seems unwell to you

Trust your instincts — in BC you can call 8-1-1 any time (HealthLink BC), and use emergency care for anything severe. Checking is never an overreaction.

When you feel overwhelmed

This matters as much as anything else here. Relentless crying is genuinely hard, and it can push any loving parent to their limit. If you feel overwhelmed, it is okay to place your baby safely on their back in their crib and step away for a few minutes to breathe and reset. A few minutes of safe crying will not harm your baby — but acting in exhaustion or anger can. Never shake a baby.

Call a partner, a friend, or your provider, share the load, and reach out for support. Coping with a crying baby on no sleep is one of the hardest parts of new parenthood, and needing help with it is completely normal. If the crying is wearing on your mood more deeply, see postpartum mental health.

Caring for the baby means caring for you

A calmer, more rested parent soothes more easily — so being fed and supported genuinely helps you ride out the hard hours. Letting others handle the cooking and household, and taking shifts so you can sleep, isn’t indulgence; it’s what keeps you steady for your baby. That’s where the confinement tradition and fresh meal delivery fit — warm, nourishing meals arriving so your energy goes where it’s needed. That’s what we do at Julia’s Kitchen, across Greater Vancouver.

References

Colic and crying · Canadian Paediatric Society
Soothing a crying baby and coping with crying · HealthLink BC
Newborn care and infant health · Public Health Agency of Canada

Frequently asked questions

How do I soothe a crying newborn?

Work through the basics first — hunger, a dirty nappy, too hot or cold, needing to burp, or simply wanting to be held. Then try the comforts that echo the womb — gentle holding and skin-to-skin, soft swaying or rocking, quiet shushing or white noise, a calm dim room, and (if feeding is established and your provider agrees) a soother. Babies are all different, so it's normal to try a few things. Crying is communication, not a sign you're failing.

What is colic, and is it harmful?

Colic describes long bouts of intense crying in an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby, often in the late afternoon or evening, typically starting around 2 to 3 weeks and easing by about 3 to 4 months. It is exhausting but not harmful, and it is not your fault. There's no single cure, but soothing techniques, calm routines and support help you both through it. If you're unsure whether crying is colic or a sign of illness, have your baby checked.

When is crying a sign something is wrong?

Seek care if crying is accompanied by a fever, poor feeding, vomiting, unusual sleepiness or floppiness, difficulty breathing, or if the cry sounds unusually high-pitched or weak, or your baby simply seems unwell to you. A sudden change in crying pattern, or inconsolable crying that feels different from the usual, also deserves a check. Trust your instincts — in BC you can call 8-1-1 any time, and use emergency care for anything severe.

What if I feel overwhelmed by the crying?

This is so important — if you feel overwhelmed, it is okay to place your baby safely on their back in their crib and step away for a few minutes to breathe and reset. A few minutes of safe crying will not harm your baby, but acting in exhaustion or anger can. Never shake a baby. Call a partner, friend or your provider, and reach out for support — coping with relentless crying is genuinely hard, and asking for help is wise.